


Christmas Challenge II

by littlemisscurious



Series: Tom, Emmy, Ben, Ellie, Paula, Max and Sophie [56]
Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Christmas, Developing Relationships, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-02-27 21:36:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2707640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemisscurious/pseuds/littlemisscurious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>song: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Judy Garland</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Winter Wonderland

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Christmas Challenge](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1067094) by [littlemisscurious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemisscurious/pseuds/littlemisscurious). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> song: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Judy Garland

 

Trying to brace himself against the cold, Ben pulled his hat further down into his face, his thick, brown curls helping to shield himself from the icy wind. He was glad for the warm, black gloves his mother had given him right before he had left the house earlier. She was always looking out for him - _for them_ \- and he was convinced that most of the times they didn’t even realise she did. Making a mental note to show her more often how much she meant to him and their family in the future, Benjamin let his eyes wander over the crowd around him once more.

 

He was looking for someone - for someone very special - and when he finally saw the familiar mob of brown hair and the curious eyes darting around and taking in all the sights and people, he became even more giddy with excitement.

When at last they were only a few metres apart and Anton’s eyes met his own, he could no longer hide the big smile on his lips. “Hey Anton! I’m so glad you could make it,” he said with a bright and happy smile before embracing his boyfriend and placing a gentle, though brief kiss onto his lips.

“I’m sorry I’m late. I had to drop off Greta at my Dad’s. Mum’s off to America again later,” Anton apologised, quietly, intertwining his hand with Ben’s as they followed the large crowd around them into Hyde Park’s Winter Wonderland and took in all the small stalls offering all sorts of trinkets, food, and handmade items.

 

Christmas songs were playing all around them and the air was filled with the sound of laughter and the scents of Bratwurst and roasted almonds. To their right a large talking and singing tree was entertaining some children while a group of drunk men stumbled from one of the beer tents on their left.

Knowing of his boyfriend’s situation at home, Ben meanwhile said with an understanding smile, “Don’t worry, I thought as much. I hope he didn’t bother you again, though.”

Anton’s parents had gotten divorced a few years ago shortly after they had all moved to England from northern Germany. Now he lived with his mother, a rather successful publicist working for Luke Windsor’s company, and his younger sister Greta in a house just down the road from the Hiddleston clan while his father now occupied a fancy studio apartment in Southwark with his new model girlfriend, who could easily be his own daughter.

The relationship between father and son was strained and while the latter desperately tried to avoid any unplanned meetings, the older one did not refrain from showing up at his son’s school rather unexpectedly every now and then to convince him that some special bonding time was desperately in order. Anton disagreed every single time.

 

He had struggled with his family’s situation for many years and him being a foreigner in a school full of rich, English upper class children did nothing to help with feeling left out. When he and Ben finally met at the beginning of year 8 at Emanuel School, he was more than glad to have found a friend who was not only understanding of his situation but who was eager as well to speak in his mother tongue with him simply to make him more comfortable.

Many afternoons had since then been spent at Ben’s home and not only Paula but also Tom and the rest of the family had instantly liked the young German boy who felt more and more at home in England thanks to the curly-haired boy by his side now.

 

“You are still coming to ours on Sunday, aren’t you? Mum has made Stollen and a Lebkuchen-Cake and she keeps asking me about what else you would like to eat,” Ben chuckled, his arm now wrapped around Anton’s waist as the crowd around them grew and pushed them closer to each other.

Anton blushed a little because of the fuss Paula made even though he was so very relieved to be so welcome in Ben’s family. “She does know that she doesn’t have to do all of that, right?,” he chuckled and gently squeezed Ben’s side.

“Of course she does but she loves doing it. I think she misses Germany a lot, especially during the weeks before Christmas so any excuse to bring a bit of her home to England is more than welcome,” Ben replied before he spotted a stall selling German sweets and savouries.

 

“Do you celebrate Nikolaus at home?,” he asked Anton as his eyes wandered over the products on offer and Anton nodded. “We do but only because of Greta and I think Mum uses it as a form of apology because she will be gone for the next two weeks and hence Greta has to stay at Dad’s. I don’t think she minds much, though, but Dad’s new mistress isn’t too fond of having an 8-year-old over for so long.”

Ben raised his eyebrows at his utterance. He knew that Anton’s mother was gone a lot because of her work but it worried him that Anton was left home alone all the time. Mrs Stollberg, Anton’s mother, was more of a business woman than a mother anyway and whenever she felt bad again for leaving her children behind in England a rather large sum of money would suddenly appear in Anton’s bank account or in his purse. He knew she did it to keep him quiet but money still couldn’t buy happiness and especially during the few weeks before Christmas family was more important than ever. Or at least Ben thought so.

 

While Anton perused the products on offer, Benjamin therefore sent a quick message to his mother. _“Hi Mum, would you mind if Anton stayed over for a few days? His Mum is going on another business trip and I don’t like him being home alone all the time. :/”_

Unnoticed by his boyfriend, he shoved his phone into his pocket again before wrapping his arms around Anton from behind. “Have you found something? I might get the Marzipan for Mum. I know how much she likes it and it’s the one from Nuremberg as well,” he mumbled with a smile, inhaling the scent of Anton’s perfume, which had been his birthday gift to him a few months ago.

“I might get a bottle of Kinderpunsch for Greta. She loves it and you can’t get it here in London,” the taller boy smiled and glanced at Ben over his shoulder.

 

With their purchases safely stowed away, they continued their stroll shortly after. The longer they spent time together, the more relaxed Anton became, Ben noticed with a smile, and in the end they decided to go on the big Ferris Wheel as the last act of their visit. Luckily, they managed to get a pod for themselves and snuggling up to each other, they enjoyed the view of the Winter Wonderland and the adjacent lit-up balconies of the hotels of Park Lane in the distance.

It was then that Ben’s phone vibrated, signalling his mother’s reply to his earlier request.

_“Of course he can, darling! Will he be staying from tonight onwards or tomorrow? Either would be fine for me! Give my love to him, will you :) xx”_

Even though he had expected such a response, he was happy to have it confirmed nonetheless and with a big smile, he turned to Anton. “I was wondering…with your Mum being away and you being all alone at home…would you come and stay over at ours? I’ve already asked Mum and she said you are more than welcome to stay with us. Please…say yes.”

 

He literally begged and seeing his boyfriend’s pleasing, brown eyes - he had indeed inherited his father’s puppy dog eyes - Anton had no choice but to accept the offer. Laughing quietly, he nodded. “I would love to. Thank you, Ben.”

Tenderly, he pressed a kiss onto his lips while his arm was wrapped around Ben’s shoulders. And while the twinkling Christmas lights illuminated London around them, they had only eyes for each other, their happy, loved-up smiles brightening their surroundings in their own special way.


	2. Memory Lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> song: Underneath the Tree - Kelly Clarkson

 

“Okay, see you soon, Dad!” Emmy was just ending the call with her father when Paula walked up the stairs and past her room. “Dad says hi,” Emiliana smiled and tied her dark, thick curls into a messy bun. “And he’ll be home soon,” she added when Max and Sophie came running down the stairs. Both immediately slowed down when they saw their mother’s warning glances.

“Thanks for letting me know,” Paula smiled at her and ruffled through the younger ones’ blonde hair before continuing her journey upstairs while the twins vanished in their sister’s bedroom and closed the door behind them.

It didn’t take long until Tom’s Jaguar could be heard in the driveway but relying on her older children’s ability to keep the three younger ones under control, Paula finished putting away the laundry and getting their school uniforms ready for the next morning while Ben opened the door for his father.

 

As soon as Tom stepped into the house downstairs, Max and Sophie’s voices echoed through the house, followed by the trampling of their feet down the stairs. They always wanted to be the first ones to greet their father upon his return home while Little Lemon, safely in Anton’s arms, screeched along with them simply out of excitement. Finished with her tasks, Paula then too walked downstairs to say hello to her husband soon after.

“Oh hello Mary.” Confused but with a smile on her lips nonetheless, Paula greeted their babysitter after pressing a gentle kiss onto Tom’s lips. Mary was a young law student who tended to help out with Little Lemon, Max and Soph when Tom and Paula went on their weekly date night. If Tom’s schedule allowed them to go out that is. This night, however, she couldn’t remember having asked for her to come.

It was Tom’s satisfied grin and the suspicious twinkle in their children’s eyes, though, that betrayed them all soon enough. Wrapping his arm around his wife’s waist - all under the amused glances of the children, Anton, and Mary - Tom said, “I hope you don’t mind me taking you out tonight. I figured we’d be busy enough over the next few days and weeks so I asked Mary to look after our little monsters tonight.” Protest erupted almost instantly at the nickname he used while Ben and Emmy merely grinned at their younger siblings’ agitation.

 

Feeling a bit caught off guard still, Paula was quickly shooed upstairs, though, while Mary took over downstairs with the gracious help of Ben and Anton, the latter of which was totally enamoured with Little Lemon. Luckily for everyone, the feeling was mutual and the toddler enjoyed spending time with the quiet but loving teenage boy.

“Where are we going?,” Paula asked as she and Tom were in the safe and more peaceful confines of their bedroom.

“Somewhere nice and small, don’t worry. It’s not a big event or busy place,” he replied quietly and wrapped his arms around her from behind. “I hope you are not mad at me for surprising you so.” His voice was laced with worry and he breathed a tender kiss onto her neck while waiting for her reply.

A reassuring smile on her lips, Paula turned around in his embrace. “Of course not, love. I just didn’t expect it, that’s all.” Her lips found his for a chaste but loving kiss while Max and Sophie could be heard singing Christmas songs downstairs. With a sigh and quiet chuckle, Paula buried her face in the crook of Tom’s neck soon after.

“Time to get out of here before Mary changes her mind.”

***

“Alright, be good for Mary, okay? I don’t want to hear any complaints later on,” Tom winked as he kissed Max goodbye a little later. Quickly, the young boy shook his blonde curls before Tom put him down again. A few more cuddles and kisses followed before the two of them were finally allowed to go. After helping Paula into the car, Tom followed suit and steered them safely through the streets of Wandsworth, Battersea and, eventually, Pimlico thereafter.

Paula recognised the small side street instantly and as soon as he had parked the Jaguar, she took his hand gently into her own. “I can’t believe it still exists,” she whispered with a smile, her eyes briefly flitting over to the small Italian restaurant on the other side of the street where Tom had taken her for their very first date eleven years ago.

“I was rather relieved myself when I found out it was still there, believe me,” he smiled in return before leaning over to kiss her once again. So much time had passed since they had sat in the very same spot last. So many years had gone by and they had gone through so many ups and downs together.

She had been 23 when he had fallen in love with her. Now, eleven years as a couple, seven of those as a married one, and three children later, she was still as beautiful, as perfect, in his eyes as back then.

“In some way it seems like yesterday that I’ve been sitting in this very same car, nervous and almost scared but so in love with you,” Paula whispered, her gaze once more directed at the small restaurant. Pale yellow lights illuminated the window frames and the familiar candles stood on each table, casting it all in an intimate glow.

“Yes, I know what you mean. But so much has happened. And I am more than glad that Sarah and Ben took the children back then and that the electricity went out and...and that you accepted me despite our differences in age, in experience. I love you so much, Paula. So very much.” His voice broke a little at the end of his sentence and gently, she placed her hand onto his cheek.

“I love you too, Thomas. And there’s no one I’d have rather spent the past eleven years with than with you. You’ve given me all I ever dreamed of. A home, a family, love...The most wonderful children and yes, I am including Benjamin and Emiliana in this because they are my children, too, no matter what.”

A single tear now rolled down his cheek and quickly, she kissed it away. She knew he worried still, about her and Ben and Emmy; about their relationship, about Ellie. He worried about so many things that he needn’t worry about. He couldn’t help it, Paula knew that. To make it easier on him, she tried to show him, to tell him, as often as possible that she loved him and every single aspect of their life.

 

Neither knew how much time had passed when they eventually made it inside, his arm firmly wrapped around her waist. They got the same table by the window as all those years ago and Tom even managed for them to be served the very same meal as on their very first date.

“Do you even know how lucky we are?,” she smiled afterwards and took another sip of her water. Tom nodded and played with her fingers in his hand.

“Oh yes, I do. We’ve been blessed in so many ways and I never want to forget that,” he mumbled, his eyes fixed on hers in the golden glow of the candles.

 

Some things had changed compared to their date eleven years ago, she realised. He was sporting quite a few more grey hairs by now and a little less hair in general. The wrinkles around his eyes were more pronounced now, too, but his blue orbs sparkled just as brightly as back then and so did his smile. He was still the Thomas she had fallen in love with and sometimes it surprised Paula herself how very much in love they were still.

“Do you think the church will be open again?,” she whispered after a while and Tom glanced at the huge, dark building a little further down the road.

“Only one way to find out, hm?,” he winked at her and once he had paid and helped her back into her coat, they left the warm confines of the restaurant and walked the very same way as back then.

It was indeed open, Paula realised happily, but when she heard the same song as all those years ago, she knew it was no coincidence.

_“Gloria in excelsis Deo / Gloria in excelsis Deo”_

“I wanted it all to be just as perfect,” Tom confessed with a sheepish smile but instead of a proper reply, Paula simply pulled him closer towards her to kiss him as the familiar lyrics of Angels We Have Heard on High echoed from the walls and stained-glass windows of the church while outside snow had started to fall thickly from London’s grey and orange night sky..


	3. Hamleys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> song: All I want for Christmas is you - Michael Bublé

 

“Are you sure you don’t mind looking after him? He can be quite a handful,” Paula asked for the at least fifth time while Tom, Max, and Sophie were already standing by the door, suited and booted and ready to go.

“Not at all, Mum. We’ll be fine. George loves Anton, remember? He just has to look at him and Little Lemon will melt,” Ben reassured her. He ignored his father’s comment that followed - _“Something he seems to have in common with his big brother.”_ \- and instead gently pushed his mother towards the door. “Have fun!”

 

During their drive towards the city center, Tom could feel her unease at leaving their youngest one home alone with Ben and Anton even though they both knew the boys were perfectly capable of looking after Little Lemon for a while.

“Relax, love. They’ll be fine. It’s not the first time they look after him,” he smiled and took her hand in his as they had to stop at a red light.

Paula sighed with a smile. “I know. It’s strange anyway.”

 

She had no time to worry any further, though, because Max and Sophie demanded her undivided attention soon after.

“Are you sure we haven’t forgotten anything on the list?,” Sophie inquired once again, her nose pressed against the car window as she watched the city roll by outside.

“Well, why don’t you both have a look at what we’ve put on there and then we’ll see if we’ve remembered everything,” Tom suggested with a loving smile before he continued steering the big Audi through the dense London traffic.

He could hear the rustling of paper as Max unfolded their shopping list.

“Cuddly toys, cars, dolls, colouring books and colouring pencils, picture books, and sweets for Max&Sophie,” his sister read out loud before they both giggled quietly.

“I’m not sure that last point belongs on the list, darling,” Paula grinned and turned around briefly to tickle her leg.

“Oh but it does, Mummy! Otherwise we will be too tired and exhausted to do all the shopping. We need…what’s the word again, Daddy? The one with ‘sus’ at the beginning.”

“Sustenance,” Tom chuckled as he parked the car in Old Burlington Street’s car park.

“Yes, we need sustenance, Mummy!,” Sophie exclaimed rather proudly while her mother merely chuckled and threw an amused glance at her husband.

“Come on you little famished rascals. Time for some Christmas shopping!”

 

In no time the four of them were walking along Regent Street, admiring the colourful and twinkling decorations hanging across the street as well as those adorning the various shop windows. The pavements were packed with people carrying all sizes of bags. Some were in a rush, others were strolling rather lazily down the road, eager to take in as much of the atmosphere as possible.

It was Sophie who spotted their destination first and impatient as she was, she started pulling on Tom’s hand to get there even quicker.

“Slow down, Soph. We’ll get there soon enough, don’t you worry.” Once again he was reminded of how different Max and Sophie were from Ben and Emmy when they were younger. They were much more lively and to some extent more demanding than their older siblings. Not that he minded, it was simply a curious thing to observe.

 

Hamleys was as busy as every year during the weeks before Christmas. Children of all ages ran around, desperate to take in all the toys on offer while their tired parents tried to keep up, oftentimes in vain.

Max and Sophie knew the drill though and with their shopping lists firmly in their hands, they steered towards the first stop on their shopping trip.

As the twins took in the cuddly bears on offer, Tom stole a quick kiss from his wife. He knew she was still thinking of Ben and Anton alone with Little Lemon and with a knowing smile, he pushed his phone into her hands afterwards. “Go on, call them. I’m sure Ben won’t mind you checking up on them.”

Paula blushed but did as he suggested while Tom kneeled down to help Max and Sophie place the bears of their choice into the big, red Hamleys shopping bag.

“Oh look at that one, Daddy! It’s huuuuuuge and so fluffy. Come on, touch it,” Sophie said, her blue eyes wide with excitement as she beckoned him over to admire a massive cuddly bear on display that was almost twice her size.

With Max by his side, Tom walked over to her and did as she asked. “It really is fluffy. It’s way too big, though. If he sleeps in your bed, there’ll be no more room for you, love,” he winked and looked around for Paula afterwards so they could continue their way upstairs.

Sophie was not finished discussing the bear though. “But what if I simply slept on top of him? That would work perfectly, Daddy! Or he could sleep in front of my bed. That way I couldn’t fall out,” she tried to argue, determined to convince her father yet of the need to get this very bear for her.

“You never fall out of your bed anyway, love, so there’s no need to get the bear. And as I said, he’s too big anyway. Come on, let’s go upstairs to get the rest from your shopping lists.

 

The little girl let out a loud sigh before taking his offered hand in defeat. Paula, now reassured once again that things were perfectly alright at home, joined them, too, and together they headed upstairs.

Soon enough their bags were filled with toys and books and arts and crafts material of all sorts and not only had Sophie fallen in love with the big bear from downstairs but Max had spotted the newest LEGO train set which he was convinced he needed urgently although he was probably a little more subtle about it as his sister was about her wish.

 

Tom remained adamant however and when they left Hamleys loaded with bags, neither the bear nor the train set were among the things they had bought. Instead, though, both children were proudly carrying a small bag of sweets which they had been allowed to choose on the top floor. And while bears and train sets were momentarily pushed to the back of their minds, they chewed happily on some sour peaches and cherry wine gums.

During their journey home, Max and Sophie discussed loudly which toy would go into which box at home while Paula talked to Emmy on the phone in the front. She had been out with James all day and was now asking for permission to stay over at his house given that the next day was a school-free day.

“Darling, let me talk to your father and I’ll call you back in a minute, okay?,” she said and hung up before briefly explaining the situation to Tom.

She could feel his unease and at least a minute passed until he finally said something in response. “I know this is ridiculous, she’s 16 after all and we’re talking about James but…I don’t know. Do you think she’ll…I mean, they will…or already have…?”

He didn’t need to say it out loud because Paula knew exactly what he was referring to. Of course they’d had ‘the talk’ already and she trusted both Emiliana and Benjamin to make the right choices regarding their sex life. Nevertheless, the two of them were still Tom’s and her little babies and they probably always would be.

 

“Why don’t you give her a ring once we’re home, hm? I’m sure she’ll understand your worries and I am also sure she’ll help you overcome them, love. We don’t even know if that is something on their minds yet,” Paula suggested and he nodded thankfully.

A quick text message was send to the oldest Hiddleston child before they already arrived home. After a loving kiss, she sent Tom inside while she, Max and Sophie took care of their shopping and while Tom called his daughter, Paula was once again bombarded with a ton of questions from Max and Sophie.

 

“Mummy? Did you like the bear I showed Daddy? Don’t you think it would fit perfectly into my room? Please say you do.”

“And that train set was just the one I need, Mummy. It matches the pieces I already have. Wouldn’t it be so cool to drive around with these new trains?”

Paula smiled and held open the door for them. “There’s so much we want and need, my darlings. But today is not about us but about all the children who don’t have anything, remember? Come on now, let’s fill those boxes for them so they have something to open on Christmas Day. Not all are as lucky as we are.”

The twins nodded but she could see in their eyes how eager they were to discuss the presents of their choice. Nevertheless - and obviously after having checked on Ben, Anton, and Little Lemon - they were all very engrossed in dividing the toys to fill the boxes soon after which were to be sent off to Guinea and other poor areas which Unicef supported with their work.

 

When Tom entered the living room a while later, Paula was the only one to look up at him with a questioning smile because Max and Sophie were too busy to focus on their father.

“Emmy is staying over at James’ today,” he mumbled with a sheepish smile and kneeled down beside his wife. “They are growing up so fast, aren’t they?,” he added quietly, his eyes resting on their blonde set of twins.

“Yes, they are. Which is why we need to cherish every moment we are allowed with them,” Paula whispered before her lips met his again in a tender and loving kiss.

It was Sophie - _who else?_ \- who interrupted them, though, with her rather loud and not quite correct version of _All I want for Christmas is you_. In her eyes it was destined to be “All I want for Christmas is the teddy bear!” instead while Max inserted ‘train set’ in his very own rendition much to the amusement of their parents.


	4. Young love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> song: Baby it's cold outside - Colbie Caillat & Gavin DeGraw

 

“What have they said?” Taking off his thick jumper to place it over the chair, James looked at his girlfriend, desperately hoping her parents would have agreed to her staying over.

“Dad said I can stay. I just need to be back tomorrow around noon because Nana is coming over in the afternoon. And he offered to bring me my PJs and stuff but I said you could probably give me something to sleep in.”

Blushing a little, Emiliana looked at him as she sat on his big, comfortable bed. They hadn’t taken the next big step in their relationship yet because neither of them felt ready but she loved being with him, loved kissing him, and lying in his arms.

Her heart beat faster every time he looked at her with his rich brown eyes, a gentle smile resting on his lips.

“Hm, what would you like? Just a shirt…or some pyjama bottoms and a shirt…or just some pyjama bottoms?” Smirking cheekily, James stepped in front of the bed and bend down to kiss her briefly but lovingly. Her arms sneaked around his neck instantly and losing his balance, he fell forward, catching himself with his hands either side of her body. Emiliana giggled quietly.

“I think a shirt and some pyjama bottoms would be nice. Maybe those green ones…I liked them so much on you,” she whispered against his lips before closing them again with her own.

 

From downstairs they could hear his sister Caroline and his parents discuss that night’s TV programme in a rather heated fashion but neither of them was bothered by it. An old Gavin DeGraw album was playing quietly in the background and outside snow had started to fall in thick and heavy flakes.

Emiliana couldn’t get enough of his kisses and she enjoyed the gentle but not at all demanding caresses of his fingertips as they danced across her skin. Carefully, James moved to lie next to her, his lips never leaving hers as he embraced her fully. His fingers found the exposed skin on her waist again instantly and when they eventually broke apart, he didn’t cease his gentle ministrations.

***

“I know this probably isn’t the right moment but…I think Dad was pretty worried that…well, you know. That we might be doing things while we’re alone,” Emiliana mumbled after a while. They had both finally gotten changed into their PJs and her head was resting on James’ shoulder.

Turning his head a little, he looked at his younger girlfriend. “But he knows that we didn’t do it yet, right? Or does he think I would make you do it?” Concern flickered in his eyes but she quickly tried to soothe his worries.

“I’ve never really talked to him about what stage we’re at but he knows that you are a wonderful, loving, and responsible boyfriend. He would never think badly of you.”

James nodded, seemingly lost in thought. His heart beat fast under Emmy’s touch and hoping it would distract him, she breathed a tender kiss onto his naked chest.

 

“Maybe I should talk to him tomorrow. Just to calm him down. I know how protective he is of me especially after that thing with Oliver. And I love him and it matters what he thinks of me, of us. Honesty is the least I can give him in return for his trust, don’t you think.”

It troubled him to see her normally so sparkling and cheerful grey eyes clouded over by a veil of worry. “Talking to him is a great idea. Just don’t praise my kissing qualities too highly,” James winked, having regained his usual cheek, which earned him a slight punch into his side before she ‘attacked’ him fully, taking complete advantage of his aversion to being tickled.

When she had eventually won, straddling him and her hands firmly around his wrists - although both knew he could easily escape her grasp if he so wished - she raised her eyebrows with a rather amused smile. “Anyway, who said you have any kind of kissing qualities?”

James’ lips curved into a smile. “You say it every time I kiss you. Because they way your fingers dig into my skin and your body presses itself against my own is proof enough that I am doing something right.”


	5. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> song: Santa Baby - Michael Bublé

 

“Sophie love, be careful with those scissors, okay? And Max, try to paint on your piece of paper as well and not just on the newspaper underneath,” Paula reminded her twins who were busy making Christmas cards for their best friends at school while she herself balanced a rather tired and therefore cranky George on her hip.

Tom had gone out with Emmy, Ben, and Anton to buy a few more presents - _a few of them presumably for her_ \- as well as to get their Christmas tree, which she feared would, _again_ , be a little too big even for their spacious living room.

Christmas music was meanwhile blaring through the house and Paula could only sigh quietly when Little Lemon decided to support Michael Bublé’s rich tenor voice with his own, rather high-pitched wailing.

“I’ll just go and try to settle him down upstairs. You’ll be good, won’t you?” Max and Sophie nodded with angelic faces and, although a tad suspicious because no arguing had been going on for quite some time between them, Paula went upstairs to put her youngest one down for his much needed afternoon nap.

 

It was quiet when she walked downstairs again a little later; too quiet for her taste in fact. Eyes and ears alert, Paula tiptoed down the hallway and into the kitchen from which she would have an excellent view of the living room without being spotted straightaway.

To her surprise, Max and Sophie were still cutting and painting away with focused faces and the music had only stopped because the previously playing song had been the last one on the album.

She felt a little bad about having suspected that her beloved children had been up to mischief but then again past experience had proven often enough that these two were rather prone to being up to no good.

 

“How are we getting on, eh?,” she smiled, cheerfully, and took her seat at the table. By now, Sophie had placed her purple scissors aside and was eagerly decorating her card with plenty of glue and glitter while Max added big red dots to his green piece of paper.

“Can we make a card for Nana and Poppa as well and for Grandma and Grandpa?,” Max asked, wiping a strand of hair out of his eyes which left him with a bright red streak of watercolour across his forehead.

“Of course you can, love,” Paula chuckled, wiping the colour away as best as possible while his sister merely giggled at her brother’s mishap.

The ringing of the doorbell eventually demanded their attention and dropping their paintbrushes and glue sticks, the twins ran to the door, already cheering loudly as they saw the tip of their Christmas tree through the coloured window above the door.

“Oh dear lord,” was Paula’s only comment as she opened the door to come face to face with her husband and the monstrosity of a tree. Tom, however, grinned rather proudly when he carried it through the hallway and into their living room with the help of Ben and Anton. Meanwhile, Emiliana told her mother to “go somewhere else” so she could carry numerous bags past her and upstairs to some secret hiding place.

 

“Max, Sophie! You either finish your cards or you tidy everything away. Daddy and Ben will add the lights first anyway so there’s not much you can help with. What’s it to be then?”

She could see her twins’ indecision as their eyes went from the tree to the table and back again until they eventually decided in favour of their Christmas cards. A new Christmas album was hence started and still believing that this huge tree was the best and prettiest they’ve ever found, the men started to put it up and added the lights all under the amused glances of Emmy and Anton.

 

It had become somewhat of a tradition that Ben and Tom would do the lights first before Paula and Tom had to leave the living room to leave the rest of the decorations to the children before they were allowed back inside to do some minor adjustments. Initially, Paula had been rather worried about said tradition but Emmy seemed to have an incredibly good eye - _and way of directing her siblings_ \- so, against all odds, the Christmas tree always looked rather marvellous in the end.

This year would be no different and as she carried boxes of decoration into the room, Paula noticed with an amused smile that Max and Sophie became more giddy and impatient the further their brother and father advanced with the twinkling lights.

 

“There we go. That does look rather wonderful wouldn’t you agree, love?,” Tom grinned and pulled his wife towards him as he winked at his children, who giggled quietly.

Paula sighed and snuggled up to him. She had to admit that the tree did look lovely and not too big and imposing after all. “Yes, it does look good. Now get that smirk off your face,” she mumbled and pinched his bum.

Knowing that it was their turn now, Max and Sophie quickly put their arts and crafts things away and in no time Tom and Paula were shooed out of the room and the door was locked behind them.

 

“And what are we going to do now?,” Tom whispered into her ear, his hands already finding their way underneath her jumper. Paula got no opportunity to reply, though, as Little Lemon’s quiet whimpering echoed from the baby monitor just as she had opened her mouth.

“Thought as much,” he grinned and climbed the stairs ahead of her. “Hello my little boy. Oh look at you, has Mummy found your reindeer pyjamas again? And Daddy did such a good job at hiding them,” he cooed at their little boy and laughed quietly as Paula entered the room a few moments later.

“Mummy always knows where the reindeer pyjamas are, doesn’t she, Little Lemon? Because Mummy loves them so much and thinks you look adorable when you wear them,” she said in return, gently tickling George’s tummy as he snuggled up to his beloved father.

Tom only rolled his eyes with a smile and kissed his youngest son before getting him changed and ready for some special play time with Mummy and Daddy.

***

“Muuuum! Daaaad! You can come in now!” Of course it was Sophie who screamed said announcement through the house and she was already eagerly jumping up and down in front of the living room door when Tom, Paula, and George descended the stairs.

“I’m so excited,” she grinned, her cheeks flushed and her ponytail slightly askew. Impatiently, she took her Mum’s hand and pulled her into the room first where Ben, Max, Emmy, and Anton were awaiting them already.

It seemed as if Emiliana had worked her magic once again. Even though Max’ and Sophie’s as well as Ben’s fingerprints were visible on the tree’s decoration, it was inherently her leadership that had made it as beautiful as it was.

“Oh that looks magnificent. Thank you,” Paula smiled, taking in all the baubles, the bows, the small wooden ornaments that had been an inheritance from her grandmother, as well as the personal items each member of the family was allowed to add to the tree each year.

Max had added some red and green paper stars while Sophie had chosen little pink pinecones to be added here and there. Benjamin’s choice had obviously been the music sheet ornaments while Emiliana had picked baubles in the shape of London’s landmarks like Big Ben and St Paul’s.

Now it was up to Tom, Paula, and George to add their personal touch to this year’s Christmas tree.

“What have you chosen, Little Lemon, hm?,” Ben asked and took his little brother from his father’s arms. The toddler’s eyes were fixed on the big tree, the first one he’d ever seen in their living room. In his small hand, he was clutching a pair of blue socks, his first ever socks and, gently, Ben took them and placed them at the end of two branches further down.

“Are you happy with that, buddy? Looks good, eh?,” he grinned and Little Lemon only smiled an all in all rather toothless smile in return.

 

“Mummy, Daddy, it’s your turn now!,” urged Max who was leaning onto his big sister, the red watercolour from earlier still slightly visible on his forehead.

Smiling rather happily at each other, Tom and Paula stepped forward and added their own ornaments - a few red and white sugar canes from Paula and a few little book baubles from Tom - until the tree was finished. Almost at least.

“Now there’s only one person missing. Anton?” Paula smiled at the young man who had obviously not expected to be included in this rather personal tradition. He blushed as all attention was on him and stammered something about not having anything to put on the tree. Ben, however, had already talked to his mother before and had hence organised a few small nutcrackers with the help of his German grandmother.

“There we go. What about these? They are German so…,” Ben smiled and offered his boyfriend the box who gazed at him lovingly and thankfully in return.

“Thank you,” Anton mumbled and looked at not only Ben but the entire family before he carefully added his own ornaments to the already beautiful tree.

“I guess Christmas can come now,” Tom smiled, his arm wrapped around Paula’s shoulder, before he kissed his wife under the “eww”s and “don’t do that”s from his youngest children.


	6. Ohana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> song: O Holy Night - Josh Groban

 

It was still dark outside and everyone else was fast asleep when Paula tiptoed downstairs after her early morning shower. Her damp hair cascaded in soft waves down her shoulders and back and she was snuggled up in a pair of Tom’s comfy pyjama bottoms together with a warm, woollen Christmas jumper which Max and Sophie had given her for Christmas two years ago.

She relished the quietness of an early morning when the mist still hung heavily over Wandsworth Common on their doorstep and when there were few cars and even fewer people out.

 

Instead of turning on the big kitchen lamp, she went in favour of the small greenish lap by the kitchen window before switching on the Christmas tree lights as well. It was then that she saw the by now familiar figure standing in the conservatory, his gaze directed at their snowy garden.

“Guten Morgen (1),” she said with a smile and a little surprised the young man turned around.

“Oh, goo- guten Morgen (2).” Anton took a few steps towards her, the fairy lights illuminating his eyes, and he only just then fully realised that Paula was of course fluent in German herself. A little embarrassed to be caught downstairs at this early time of the day, he ruffled through his brown hair and closed the distance between them even further.

“Ich hoffe ich hab dich nicht geweckt. Ich...ich konnte nicht mehr schlafen und wollte Ben nicht stören (3),” he admitted, motioning towards the upper floors.

Paula instantly shook her head. “Nein, keine Sorge. Möchtest du auch einen Kaffee oder eine heiße Schokolade? (4)” She wasn’t quite sure what was the matter but he looked sad and somewhat lost. Now that he was staying with them for the time being, she felt responsible for his wellbeing and was determined to give it her all to make him feel better again.

“Kaffee wäre super, danke. (5),” he smiled thankfully and together they settled down on the large comfy sofa in the conservatory a little later.

 

“Anton, ich..ich weiß, ich bin nicht deine Mutter, aber...wenn irgendwas nicht stimmt, dann kannst du immer mit mir reden. Egal worum es geht. (6).” With worried eyes she watched the young man as he took another careful sip of his hot cappuccino, for the moment at least avoiding her gaze. In fact it was not until he placed the cup on the small table beside him that she noticed his tears and instantly she placed her own cup aside and pulled him into her arms. “Hey...es ist alles okay...wir sind für dich da, (7)” she whispered, soothingly stroking over his back. Anton simply continued to sob quietly as he clung to her seemingly for dear life. Paula had always wondered how he coped with his parents’ divorce and his mother’s almost continuous absence. Apparently, he didn’t cope at all.

 

The minutes passed and even after he had stopped crying, he remained in her embrace, thankful for her sympathy. Outside, the sun had slowly begun to tint the sky a pastel yellow and pink and Jasper was tiptoeing through the snow, obviously returning from his nightly hunting trip.

“Wird deine Mutter über Weihnachten wieder hier sein? (8),” Paula asked quietly, handing Anton a tissue once he had sat up straight again. He dried his remaining tears and blew his nose first before answering her question with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Ich weiß es nicht. Inzwischen glaube ich sie wäre froh wenn Greta und ich beide zu unserem Vater gezogen wären statt bei ihr zu bleiben (9),” he mumbled, gazing at the awakening world outside.

Maybe it was the sadness in his voice or merely her anger at seeing him deprived of the love and family he so desperately needed but it was then that Paula had an idea she was determined to discuss with Tom later that morning. For now, she simply said, “Ich hoffe du weißt, dass du bei uns immer und solange du willst willkommen bist, Anton. Und sowohl ich, als auch Tom sind immer für dich da, egal worüber du reden möchtest. (10)” She observed him with a warm smile and Anton couldn’t help but smile in return.

Never had he thought another family to be so wonderful to him and Tom and Paula truly made him feel loved and welcome indeed.

“Danke Paula. Für alles (11),” he nodded as another pair of naked feet could be heard tiptoeing through the adjacent living room.

“Oh, good morning, Mum. Hi Anton.” A little tired still, Benjamin ruffled through his thick, brown curls, obviously not having expected to see both his mother and his boyfriend down here together enjoying their morning coffee together.

“Good morning, darling. I’ve made coffee if you want some,” Paula smiled and he nodded, vanishing into the kitchen again while Paula and Anton regarded each other with a smile.

“Ich hoffe du bist bereit für einen weiteren verrückten Tag mit uns (12),” she winked and Anton laughed quietly.

“Ich kann’s kaum erwarten! (13)”

_(1) Good morning | (2) good morning | (3) I hope I didn’t wake you up. I..I was no longer able to sleep and didn’t want to disturb Ben. | (4) No, don’t worry. Would you like a coffee as well or maybe a hot chocolate? | (5) Coffee would be great, thanks. | (6) Anton, I...I know I’m not your mother but if there’s ever something wrong, you can always come and talk to me. No matter what about. | (7) Hey...it’s alright...we’re here for you | (8) Will your Mum be back for Christmas? | (9) I don’t know. By now I believe she’d be happier if Greate and I had both moved to our father instead of staying with her. | (10) I hope you know you’re always welcome here whenever and for how long you want, Anton. And I as well as Tom are always there for you, no matter what you want to talk about. | (11) Thank you, Paula. For everything. | (12) I hope you’re ready for another crazy day with us. | (13) I can’t wait._


	7. Father Christmas' Reindeers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> song: Silent Night - Josh Groban

 

“Do you think he’s excited about Christmas?” Standing on tiptoes, Sophie peeked into George’s cot, her blonde hair adorned by a yellow paper crown with plastic jewels glued onto it in a rather tipsy-turvy manner. Paula looked up from the laundry she had been sorting through.

“I’m not sure he understands it all yet but I bet he can feel that we are all excited so he might be excited, too.”

Sophie nodded, obviously happy with the answer. Her laughter echoed through the small nursery when she picked up a plushie that her little brother had thrown out of his cot, probably only because he hoped it might impress her.

“Mummy, can you lift him out so I can play with him? I bet he’s bored in there all by himself.”

 

Fulfilling her daughter’s wish with the reminder to be gentle with him, Paula picked the little boy up, kissed him quickly on his chubby cheek, and placed him right next to Sophie on the soft, warm carpet.

Almost instantly, she had sat down beside her baby brother and wrapped one arm around George while holding a picture book about Father Christmas and his reindeers in the other.

For a moment, Paula stopped what she had been doing and marvelled at her daughter’s enthusiasm, at her fondness for storytelling and the vividness of her imagination. Ever since she had been able to talk properly, Sophie had been making up stories for her cuddly toys, for her siblings and parents, just like Emiliana - and presumably Tom - all those years ago.

 

Continuing with her previous task, she listened to Sophie’s voice as she told Little Lemon all about Father Christmas’ 9 Reindeers.

“…Look and there they are. There’s Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid, and Donner and Blitzen. The last two names are funny because Mummy once said that these are German words and they mean thunder and lightning. And the reindeer over here with the bright, red nose, that’s Rudolph. The other reindeers always tease him about it which is really not nice. I think it looks cute anyway and with the help of his shiny nose you always know where he is and he can never get lost,” Sophie kept explaining.

George was gurgling away happily, sometimes attempting to grab her finger that moving about the page to point out what she was referring to. Sophie laughed as he finally got a hold of her sleeve and pulled it towards his mouth only to suckle on her thumb.

“That tickles, Little Lemon. And I bet it doesn’t even taste good,” she giggled. Nevertheless, she allowed him to continue for a bit, turning the page with her other hand instead.

 

“Look, that’s where Santa’s helpers go through all the letters that the children sent. I sent mine a few weeks ago and so did Max. I’m not sure about Emmy and Ben, I’ll have to ask them later,” she continued, not caring much about Little Lemon’s continuous use of her finger as a dummy replacement.

“Anyway, that’s where they go through all the letters and here…,” she turned to another page and Little Lemon’s hand flew to another reindeer picture on the page, “yes, that’s a reindeer, George. Well done! But look here. There are all the letters and all the little elves go through them and then they have this huuuuuge room where they collect all the toys that the children want to have.”

Briefly, Sophie stopped and looked up at her mother. “If George is so small, who wrote his wish list?”

Paula closed the drawer with her hip and smiled at her daughter. “I did it for him. I thought of a few things he might like to have and put them on there.”

Again, the little one nodded, satisfied with what she heard, and returned to the story while Paula went next door to put away the rest of the clothes.

 

Tom was rummaging around his part of the wardrobe and for a moment she watched him, rather amused because he was obviously looking for something but was too proud to ask her for her. Eventually, he let out a loud sigh, though, and turned towards her.

“I’m looking for my dark grey shirt. I wanted to wear that tomorrow,” he mumbled, his hands motioning towards the wardrobe.

Carefully, Paula placed the remaining laundry on the bed and walked over to where he stood, her hand gliding around his waist. “What do I get if I find it for you?,” she whispered with a smirk, her lips mere inches from his own. Tom chuckled quietly.

“Oh you can get whatever you want anyway, my love, I thought you know that,” he growled into her ear, his hand now resting on her derriere.

“Hm, is that so? I might take you up on that offer tonight, Mr Sexiest Man Alive.”

He rolled his eyes at that title he’d been given a few weeks ago but Paula enjoyed teasing him. In no time had she found the shirt in question and he thanked her with a long and promising kiss when Sophie called for them.

“Tonight you’re mine,” he winked and gave her a pat on the bottom before joining his children in the adjacent nursery.

 

“Hello there, how may I help?,” Tom smiled and kneeled on the floor opposite Sophie and Little Lemon, who was gazing up at him with big blue eyes, Sophie’s finger still in his mouth.

“Daddy, I was wondering…when there are so many children in the world and so many presents to give away…how do they all fit onto Santa’s sleigh?”


	8. Brothers in Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> song: Santa Clause is coming to town - The Pointer Sisters

 

“Oh, hey buddy. What are you up to?” An amused smile playing around his lips, Ben looked at his little brother who was carrying all sorts of colouring pencils, watercolours, paintbrushes, and pieces of paper from his chest of drawers over to his desk.

Briefly, Maximilian looked up at Ben before he placed all the utensils carefully on the table in front of him. “I want to make a welcome sign for Santa so he knows where to find us. Last year the tree in front of the house was lit up but this year it’s gone so he might no longer know where we live,” the little boy explained rather gravely.

Ben nodded with a tender smile and thought about how much like himself his little brother was sometimes. And given that Anton had gone home earlier to quickly grab some clothes Greta had asked him for, he said, “I don’t suppose you want any help with that now, do you?” As annoying as younger siblings could be sometimes, Benjamin still loved his entire family dearly and he and Max hadn’t done anything together for a while.

Almost before he had finished the question, Max turned back towards him with a big smile and gleaming eyes. “Oh but of course I do! Will you help me? You could help with the spelling and maybe with drawing the letters, too. But you need to wear an apron. Mummy says we have to wear our aprons when we do arts and crafts so we don’t ruin our clothes.”

Ben looked at his little brother in mock surprise. “But I don’t have an apron. What do I do now?”

Eager to help as always, Max ran out of the room and down the stairs, calling for his mother. “Mummy!!! I need an apron for Ben so we can do arts and crafts together. Do you have one for him?”

Visible for Ben, who had followed him downstairs, but fortunately invisible for Max, Paula desperately tried to stifle a laugh as she stood in the doorway of the kitchen while Max was bouncing through the hallway. “An apron you say? Hm...what about Sophie’s? He could use that, don’t you think?” Gently ruffling through Max’s hair, she grinned cheekily at the curly-haired teenager who was now rolling his eyes at her suggestion behind his brother’s back.

“Oh yes, brilliant, Mummy! Come on Ben, it’s upstairs!”

In no time, Max had pulled him up the stairs again and soon after he was sitting on a blue chair, which was a little too small for him, wearing a hot pink apron with a fluffy trim around the edge.

Obviously, Max already had a vision when it came to the sign for Santa and even though Ben was allowed to voice suggestions for improvement, they were rarely deemed acceptable. In the end, he made himself useful tracing the letters on the paper so Max could colour them in.

“How are you getting on with your letters, Max? At school I mean...everything alright?”

Max hesitated and briefly stopped filling the big letter E with blues and greens of all shades. Eventually, he shook his head without meeting Ben’s eye and the older one couldn’t help but notice how sad the little boy looked all of a sudden.

“Hey, talk to me buddy. What’s wrong? Do you need any help with them maybe? I could teach you if you want to,” he said quietly and placed a hand on Max’s back causing him to stop colouring.

“I don’t want Mummy and Daddy to know,” Max whispered, his eyes suddenly filled with tears. “I’m not good with my letters. I mix them up sometimes and they look really wonky all the time. Ms Anderson said she has to talk to Mummy and Daddy soon if it doesn’t get better.”

Without another word, Ben pulled him into an embrace, breathing a kiss onto his curly hair. He knew what it was like to struggle at school, did he himself have a few issues at the beginning of his time at Hornsby House.

“Listen Max, let’s finish the poster and afterwards I’ll help you with your letters. Mummy and Daddy won’t have to know and I have a great technique that might help you, too. I used it when I was your age and struggled with my letters,” he mumbled with a smile, still holding his little brother close.

Sniffling quietly, Max nodded and looked up at him. “Did you mix them up as well?,” he whispered, not quite believing that his big, brave brother, whom he admired so very much, really used to have the same problems back then.

“I couldn’t even write them properly. But then Dad sat down with me one day and helped me and all of a sudden it worked and I got better. And so will you, Max. I promise!”

 

Quickly, all tears were dried and together they finished the poster before attaching it to the inside of the drawing room window. Unseen by Paula, or anyone else in fact, Ben then got a baking tray from the kitchen as well as his shaving foam from the bathroom before meeting with Max in his room again.

“Alright, here’s how it goes. We have the foam which I’ll now spread on the tray. Then you’ll take your pencil and turn it around so the tip doesn’t scratch over the tray’s surface. In the foam you can then write the letters I tell you to write and afterwards we can smooth it out again so you can try again. Got it?”

Max nodded gravely, the pencil already in his hand. Patiently, he waited for Ben to spread the white foam on the smooth tray before he looked at him for the first letter. To make sure that no one would disturb them, Ben had attached a sign at the door saying “Keep Out” and in the safety of Max’s bedroom, he helped the younger one with perfecting his letters.

“Do you feel more confident now, Max?,” Ben smiled as he wiped the foam away in the bathroom later. Max nodded quickly, the smile returning to his face once more. “I do, thank you, Ben.” Wrapping his arm around his big brother, Max buried his face in his shirt, thankful for the help and, most of all, the secrecy. Because, after all, he didn’t want to disappoint his parents and maybe now, with Benjamin’s help, he wouldn’t.


	9. What if?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> song: Feliz Navidad - Michael Bublé

 

“Emmy, are you ready?” After a quiet knock against the wooden door, Tom opened it and peeked inside. He swallowed as he saw her, his little girl all grown-up. He could see her mother in her more and more with every passing day. The shape of her nose, her twinkling grey eyes, the way she laughed; it was almost like travelling back in time and meeting a young Elizabeth all over again.

“You okay, Dad?” Just as she was about to grab her bag, Emiliana noticed her father’s somewhat sad and melancholy smile as he watched her absentmindedly.

“Hm? Oh yes, yes! It’s all good. Shall we go?” Tom pressed a kiss onto her temple as she walked past him and for a brief but tender moment, Emmy hugged him before they walked downstairs together. On the way, he kissed both Max and Sophie goodnight as well as Little Lemon, who was already fast asleep.

 

“Have fun, you two,” Paula smiled, ready to send them off at the door. Quickly, she wiped an errant curl out of Emiliana’s face, touched by how beautiful, how grown-up her daughter looked. “Look after your old man, will you?,” she mumbled and Emmy nodded with a quiet laugh while Tom’s eyes told her he was thinking exactly the same about her no longer looking like a little girl.

“Oh come on now, bugger off already,” Ben laughed, wrapping his arm around his mother while pushing his dad towards the door. He, Anton, and Paula had agreed to spend the evening in each other’s company, watching German films and drinking hot chocolate.

“I think we are no longer wanted here,” Tom meanwhile whispered into his daughter’s ear and laughing they left the house together.

 

“Dad...do you sometimes think about how life would have been if Ellie, if Mum, was still alive?” Emiliana’s question came entirely unexpected and Tom was glad to be standing at a red traffic light in that very moment. His clear blue eyes met her twinkling grey ones in the dimmed light inside the car. The faint glow of the street lamps and the traffic light illuminated her smooth skin and he swallowed, _once, twice_ , before looking away again.

Too many thoughts were invading his mind all of a sudden. Images of Ellie when they had first met, when they had gotten married, when she had been pregnant. They were followed by images of her, Emiliana and Benjamin in hospital and, later on, in their new, nor former, home before it was the flickering of the TV, the headlines, the confirmation by the police that his wife had indeed been on the plane that took over every cell of his brain.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” His daughter’s voice was quiet and distant, almost like through a wall of cotton, but before he could reply, the driver behind him honked his horn and he had to drive on. His knuckles had turned white because he was gripping the steering wheel way too hard and as soon as possible Tom turned into a small side street and stopped the car, the Jaguar’s engine still purring quietly in the background.

“No, Emmy, it’s..you have the right to ask. It’s just - it somehow still hurts to think of the life we had before, before this one that is. Don’t get me wrong, I love the life we have now. I love Paula, I love you and your siblings with all my heart. I never thought I could be this happy again.”

 

He paused, briefly collecting his thoughts, determined to find the right words to convey the feelings, all of them, that lingered in his heart.

“Your mother - Ellie - was an angel and an inspiration and her life ended way too soon and way too suddenly. But then again...I wouldn’t have met Paula otherwise. I wouldn’t have had Max and Sophie and Little Lemon and who knows what else might have happened. Even though it’s hard to accept and hard to understand sometimes, everything happens for a reason, even the bad things in life.”

He looked at Emmy and gently took her hand.

“I made the decision to move forward 11 years ago, Emiliana. I have never regretted it. And I sincerely hope that both you and Ben believe, too, that it was the right decision, not just for me but for us.”

Emmy smiled a little and squeezed his hand before she looked at the semi-dark street outside with its identical houses and its identical trees and fences. “I’m just sad I never got to meet her properly,” she whispered after a while and Tom nodded, though more to himself before she continued. “I never dared to say anything in front of Mum - in front of Paula - because I don’t want to hurt her and because I love her. But I still want to know what she was like, what Ellie was like. Will you tell me one day?,” she begged, quietly, turning to look at him once more.

Tom met her gaze and lifted her intertwined hands to press a kiss onto hers. “Of course I will, love...You look so much like her, you know that? And you are just as gorgeous, inside and out, as your mother. I know she’d be proud of who you’ve become.”

 

Gently, Tom wiped a single tear away as it slowly rolled down her cheek. Emmy smiled somewhat sadly before leaning over to hug her father. “I love you, Daddy. And thank you for the life you have given us. I truly think I have the best family anyone could wish for,” she whispered, smiling as she felt _his_ tears now dropping onto her neck.

“I love you, too, Emiliana. So very much,” he breathed in reply, pressing another long and loving kiss onto her hair before they both tried to regain their composure so they would make it to The Wolseley in time for their dinner reservation after all.


	10. By the Fireplace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> song: The Christmas Song - Nat King Cole

 

“Night Mum, night Dad!”

Waving at their rather sleepy teenage twins and Anton, Tom and Paula watched them head upstairs before exchanging some cheeky grins.

“Alone at last,” Paula whispered as she got up from the sofa and crawled onto Tom’s lap. He chuckled quietly and wrapped his arms around her waist instantly, breathing in the scent of her shampoo, a mixture of honey and vanilla.

The fire was crackling away in their fireplace and outside snow had once again begun falling from the dark, orange night sky. Christmas was only four days away and one could literally feel the excitement in the air. Especially Max and Sophie could no longer wait to see if Santa would find their house again this year and wondered if he’d really bring something for Little Lemon too or if they would maybe have to share with their baby brother.

 

“I talked to Mrs Stollberg this morning. She said she wants to think about our idea and talk to Anton first so…I guess we have to keep our secret for a little longer,” Paula mumbled after a while, her head resting against Tom’s shoulder while his fingertips slowly caressed her thighs through her pyjama bottoms.

“What do you think, will she agree? I mean, the garden house will be built either way but…” He didn’t finish his sentence but then again he didn’t need to. Paula, though, simply shrugged her shoulders.

“It’s a big step. But maybe Anton is right and she would be glad to be able to focus on her work. And he’s not a child anymore. He’ll be 17 next year and many children move out at 17 or 18 to start their traineeship.”

 

Tom nodded, his gaze fixed on the fire before he turned his head towards her a bit. “Enough about that for now, though. I want to spend some quality time with my wife now,” he grinned mysteriously and Paula giggled, lifting her head.

“What did you have in mind, may I ask?”

Lifting her off his lap, he got up too and walked over to their ipod docking station. Paula watched him from across the room, watched his at the moment rather muscular frame highlighted by his tight white shirt, and with a smile, she bit her lip, knowing that he was hers and hers alone.

She briefly closed her eyes as Nat King Cole’s “The Christmas Song” echoed through the room shortly after, though quiet enough not to wake the kids upstairs.

 

“May I have this dance?,” he whispered, once again standing right in front of her, and Paula nodded with a loved up smile.

His hand slipped around her waist while he took her other one in his, holding it against his chest. Barefoot and clad in their PJs, they danced slowly through their living room, lit up only by their Christmas tree, a few candles, and the fire at the far end of the room.

 

“When I was out with Emmy the other night, she asked me if I ever wondered about how our life would have been…under different circumstances,” Tom mumbled after a while. He had chosen his words carefully and yet he could feel Paula stiffen in his arms. Nevertheless, he continued to guide them around the room as he added just as quietly,

“I told her I didn’t because, despite what happened back then, I am so very happy. You make me so very happy, Paula. You’ve shown me that life goes on, that love doesn’t just happen once. You’ve given me the most wonderful children and…” He hesitated and stopped their dance to look into her eyes properly. “I love you so very much. I still wonder what you see in me sometimes because, let’s be honest, you could have had and still could have anyone and yet you chose me, an old, sometimes cranky and a little absentminded old fart.”

A smile spread on Paula’s face while she tried to blink away her tears and her hand found his cheek, which she caressed lovingly. “Well, it so happens that I love you, too. And that means I love every part of you, even the sometimes cranky and a little absentminded old fart part.”

 

Tom chuckled and briefly looked down before meeting her eyes again. The first song was finished by now and instead the bells at the beginning of Josh Groban’s “Silent Night” echoed from the speakers. He wondered if she still remembered their dance on Christmas Day 11 years ago.

“Back then we danced around the living room as well,” he mused quietly, her hand still safely in his, resting against his chest.

“We did indeed. I was so nervous that day because of your family,” Paula remembered, her cheeks suddenly a darker shade of pink.

“And in the end there was no reason after all. They loved you. They still do. Dad has been talking about nothing else than seeing you and the children again for the past weeks,” Tom whispered, breathing a kiss onto her hair afterwards.

“Maybe we could persuade him to stay a bit longer. He must be lonely up there in Scotland all by himself.” Tracing patterns along his shoulder with her left hand, Paula buried her face in the crook of his neck, relishing the warmth emanating from his body as he held her close with his strong, yet gentle arms.

“Yes, maybe we could,” Tom agreed. Slowly, his fingertips crept underneath her shirt, exploring the soft skin of her back.

 

He could feel her smile against his neck and so he proceeded. Inch by inch, he exposed her skin, his fingertips tracing along the column of her spine before they moved towards her waist. She had kept a few of the pounds gained during her second pregnancy and he loved her curves, had always loved them. And while his fingertips moved higher and higher until he could trace the curve of her breast, his lips found hers in a deep and longing kiss.

Paula sighed against his lips and relished the feeling of his hand exploring her body as if it was the very first time. Gone were worries about children suddenly appearing in the living room, wondering what Mummy and Daddy were doing. Instead, she allowed herself to get lost in the feeling of being loved, being desired, by the only man who counted for her.

Her skin glowed in the golden light of the fire as he removed her shirt and threw it aside and Tom couldn’t wait to taste her skin. He started right underneath her ear because he knew it was her weak spot. Her fingertips already dug into his shoulders even before he had touched the soft skin and he couldn’t help but smile at the quiet gasp that left her mouth when his lips eventually met her skin.

 

The music had stopped by now and it was only the crackling of the fire and the sound of the wind outside that interrupted the silence within the house.

His arms still wrapped around her body, Tom kissed and teased the column of her throat before tracing the outline of her shoulders and her collarbone with his tongue. It was her breasts, her round, full, delicious breasts that he paid extra attention to. Every inch was kissed and tasted, every sound leaving her lips was savoured, and as his tongue finally reached her already hard and rosy nipples, she dug her fingers into his scalp, desperately trying to suppress the moan that was bubbling up within her throat.

Gently, he laid her down on the soft rug in front of the fire and kneeling in between her legs, he watched her for a moment, watched her chest rise and fall with every breath, watched her flushed cheeks and her dilated pupils.

Her fingers fumbled for the hem of his shirt and he helped her take it off before her pyjama bottoms followed close. His eyes never leaving hers, he stroked along her legs, all the way from her ankles to her thighs, her skin soft under his touch.

 

Desperate to feel his skin underneath her hand, too, Paula stroked along his chest, tracing the outlines of his muscles with her fingertips. One hand sneaked into his neck and she pulled him down to meet his lips with her own once again while exploring the planes of his back with her other hand. She remembered how gentle he had been all those years ago for her very first time, how he had held her and caressed her and kissed her. He was just as gentle now, as if he was afraid she might break in his arms if he handled her too roughly.

And while he sometimes tended to drag out the foreplay when all she wanted was him inside of her, this night she wouldn’t want it any other way. His gentleness, the intimacy, the added spice of adventure because this was, after all, their living room and their five children were sleeping upstairs, all of it turned her on and she never wanted it to end.

 

Their lips still locked, he pushed down his own pyjama bottoms after all and laid down in between her legs again, his erection already stroking along her folds. A quiet gasp left her mouth once more when he entered her, slowly and with his forehead resting against her own, their eyes locked.

“I love you,” Tom whispered as he was seated deep within her, her legs wrapped around his waist.

“I love you, too,” Paula replied with a smile before her eyes fell close again at his first move almost all the way out and in again.

They loved each other slowly and intimately, their eyes and hearts solely focused on each other while the burned-down embers of the fire eventually shrouded them in a mere faint orange glow.


	11. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Believe - Josh Groban

 

“Sophie, you need to wear gloves, darling! And Max, where’s your hat? You were holding it just now. Ben, what are you doing to Little Lemon’s hair?”

To say that it was the family was its usual chaotic self would probably be an understatement and with a sigh, Paula ran her fingers through her hair in slight despair.

 

_“I can’t find my gloves!”_

_“Emmy stole my hat!”_

_“No, I didn’t!”_

_“I’m not doing anything to his hair…it happened all by itself.”_

 

Quiet giggling followed and quickly Anton straightened the toddler’s hair again although Little Lemon didn’t seem to mind his new Mohawk hairstyle.

“This is a madhouse,” Paula mumbled more to herself when Tom entered the conservatory as well holding both Sophie’s gloves and Max’s hat much to the delight of the twins and their mother.

“Alright, everyone ready? Come on, Little Lemon, time to build your first snowman, buddy,” he smiled and picked up his son. George was clad in his warm winter snowsuit with the ears that Paula loved so much on him because it made him look like a little, chubby Monchichi, a toy she had been playing with when she was younger.

 

When eventually Max and Sophie were wearing hat and gloves respectively as well, he shooed them all outside into the garden where Ben, Emmy, and Anton had already started a snowball fight.

For a moment, Paula watched her family from the doorway and took a few photos. It had once again been snowing heavily, which was rather unusual for London but of course the children loved it and so did she. Smiling happily, she listened to her children’s laughter that echoed around the garden.

While Emmy and Anton had teamed up against Ben, Max and Sophie tried their very best to defend their big brother by randomly throwing little bits of snow at the other two. Unfortunately for them it was only followed by meagre success.

 

“What do you think, shall we ask Mummy if she wants to help us?,” Tom ‘whispered’ into Little Lemon’s ear and the little boy stretched one hand out towards his mother because she still hadn’t entered the garden yet.

“I’m coming.” Smiling, she put her camera away and briefly stroked Jasper’s ears, who was watching the mayhem from the safety of the patio, before she joined Tom and George, breathing a kiss onto both their lips.

 

“Mummy, we want to build a snowman family. Can we have some carrots?” With flushed cheeks and their hats slightly askew, Max and Sophie came running over to Tom and Paula who were building their own little snowman with Little Lemon. Their snowball fight seemed to have ended and both Ben and Anton were entirely covered in snow although neither of the boys seemed to mind.

With expectant faces, the twins looked at their mother who nodded with a smile. “Of course. I’ll get you some. How many do you need? Three? Four?”

They contemplated the question for a moment and mumbled quietly to themselves, using their fingers to count the number of snowmen they wanted to build.

“Hm, we might need 8,” Sophie eventually said, obviously proud at that discovery.

“8? Well, that’s a lot of snowmen.”

“We are a lot of people,” the little girl replied cheekily and Tom couldn’t help but laugh before he prevented Little Lemon from eating another handful of snow.

Shaking her head with a loving smile, Paula headed inside and came back with 10 carrots shortly after. “Here we go. 8 snowman noses and one each for you to eat,” she winked and they ran off with their treasures.

 

“I’ll go and pick up Dad later. Emmy said she wants to come with me. Is that alright?,” Tom mumbled as he watched his little boy play with the snow around him, the fascination obvious in his little, chubby face.

“Of course it is. I’ll have dinner ready for when you come back.” They exchanged a smile and a loving kiss when a snowball hit Tom straight in the back.

Pretending to be furious, he got up from his crouched position and turned around.

“Who was that?”

He watched the three older ones through squinted eyes, trying to determine who looked the most guilty out of them. The decision was eventually made for Ben and in no time another snowball fight had erupted, causing Paula to run for cover with Little Lemon, who was giggling about all the excitement and chaos around him.

***

“Poppa!! Poppa!! Look at our Christmas tree! We decorated it! And we made tons of biscuits. You have to try them!” Excitedly, Max and Sophie jumped around their grandfather even before he had fully entered the house. Balancing Little Lemon on her hip, Paula tried to calm them down a bit before she greeted her father-in-law with a loving hug.

“It’s so wonderful to have you, James. I hope your trip was alright.”

The old man nodded with a smile. “It was, thank you dear. Oh and look at you, young man. How much you’ve grown since I last saw you.” Just as he was about to stroke Little Lemon’s cheek, the toddler grabbed his finger and James smiled like he’d just won the lottery.

 

Touched by his father’s love for his grandchildren, Tom gently squeezed his shoulder before he, too, tried to get his two excited twins under control.

“Max, Sophie, calm down! Let him come inside properly. We’ll have plenty of time to show him everything. He’s just had a long journey so give him some rest.”

 

“Oh it’s quite alright, Thomas. Hello you! Have you been good for Santa?” It was audible how much he tried to suppress his thick Scottish accent because he knew that Max and Sophie had trouble understanding him otherwise.

“Yes, we have, Poppa! And we’ve sent our Christmas lists weeks ago,” Sophie explained with a big smile.

“And I’ve made a sign with Ben so he will find our house now that the big tree is gone!,” Ben added no less proudly.

“Well, that’s Christmas sorted then,” James winked at them before he proceeded to greet Ben.

 

“Hello Benjamin! You look more like a man now every time I see you. I still remember when you were a little chap playing in my garden,” he smiled and greeted him with a soft pat on the cheek.

Ben blushed but smiled nonetheless. “Hey Poppa, it’s great to have you.”

“Ah, and who’s that young man?” James turned towards Anton next, who was visibly nervous, just like his boyfriend.

“Um, that’s Anton,…my boyfriend.”

“Oh how lovely. It’s great to meet you, Anton. Will you be celebrating Christmas with us, too?”

Relieved that their relationship seemed to be no issue, Anton nodded. “Yes, Mr Hiddleston. Tom and Paula have been kind enough to invite me, too.”

“Ah that’s marvellous. But please, none of this Mr Hiddleston nonsense. Makes me feel old,” James winked cheekily and the boys laughed quietly while Anton nodded again.

 

“Alright, Dad, I’ll bring your luggage upstairs and you go and settle in,” Tom smiled and grabbed his father’s bags.

Max and Sophie were once again chatting nonstop and even Ben’s and Emmy’s attempts at calming them down a bit did help nothing to ease the twins’ excitement at having their beloved Poppa at their house once again.

***

“Max! Sophie! I can still hear you talking. Go to sleep now, please. Otherwise you’ll be all tired and cranky tomorrow and none of us like cranky children, least of all Santa Clause,” Tom reminded them for the fourth time this evening already and quickly the twins hid underneath their blankets. It didn’t happen often anymore that they shared a room but now that James was staying in Max’s room for the time being, the young boy was sleeping on a blow up mattress in his sister’s bedroom, which was incredibly exciting for both of them.

Checking on Little Lemon once again, too, Tom then went back downstairs where Paula, Emmy, Ben, Anton, and his father were exchanging the latest news. He topped up their wine and juice glasses once again before settling down beside his wife, who briefly glanced at him with a loving smile.

 

“Everything alright upstairs?,” she whispered.

“More or less. They are their usual chatty selves,” Tom chuckled and kissed her quickly.

His eyes wandered over his family while the fire was crackling in the fireplace and he couldn’t help but smile as his gaze passed the thick, fluffy rug in front of it.


	12. Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> song: Auld Lang Syne - Mairi Campbell

 

Already when Sophie came sauntering towards her, her paper crown once more adorning her head, Paula had an idea what the little girl wanted to ask. Nonetheless, she continued feeding Little Lemon, although the little boy seemed way more interested in his grandfather sitting by his side.

“Do you want me to take over, love? I wouldn’t mind at all,” James asked, his eyes gleaming already, almost as much as Max’s and Sophie’s at the prospect of receiving presents from Father Christmas soon.

“Well, if you really don’t mind. I don’t want you to think we’re merely using you as an extra pair of hands. You’re supposed to be on holiday after all,” Paula replied while Sophie was already leaning against her, eagerly awaiting the end of their conversation so she could ask her most important question.

“You know how much I love to help, dear. You’re doing so much already. And we do love our special time together, don’t we, laddie?”

“Thank you, James.” Handing over the small bowl and spoon much to the delight of both Little Lemon and James, she then turned towards Sophie and lifted her onto her lap. “And how may I help you, my dear?”

 

Sophie inhaled deeply before wrapping her arms around her mother’s neck. “Well...you know how it’s Christmas Eve today…” Paula nodded, already assuming what the next question would be if Ben and Anton’s mock innocent faces were anything to go by.

Playing with the ‘Wonderful’ pendant on her mother’s necklace, which Ben had given Paula for her 24th birthday, Sophie continued, “Ben and Anton said that in Germany, where you are from, Christmas is celebrated tonight. So,...mayyybeee...if Santa happens to know that, he might come by a little earlier and maybe we could already open some presents tonight and the rest tomorrow…”

Just in that moment, Tom entered the living room as well and raised his eyebrows at his daughter’s suggestion. “What’s that about Santa coming by early? He didn’t do that again now, did he?” A cheeky wink in Paula’s direction followed while Sophie’s eyes went wide.

“What do you mean with ‘again’, Daddy? Did that happen before?” She was too excited to sit still all of a sudden and, slipping off her mother’s lap, she ran towards her father.

 

Max, alerted by his sister’s excitement, came running over, too, and now it was Paula whose face adorned a cheeky grin in the face of Tom’s current predicament.

Crouching down, he was instantly tackled to the ground by his overeager children but he eventually resigned to his fate and pulled them onto his lap.

“Well, if you must know, it did happen once or twice before. Both times we were just getting ready for bed when a small bell started ringing. Of course we wanted to find out what was happening so we went downstairs to check. And there, under the tree, were a few presents. Two each for Ben and Emmy and one each for your Mummy and me. Beside them lay a little note from Santa saying that he knew that Paula grew up celebrating Christmas on the evening of the 24th so he dropped some presents off early. And by the next morning he had brought the rest.”

The twins were literally clinging to his every word, all under the loving gaze of their older siblings, who had discovered long ago that Santa was in fact their parents and, by now, they themselves.

“Do you think that might happen tonight, too, Daddy?,” Max whispered, still enthralled by his father’s story.

Tom hesitated for a moment, pretending to think about the question properly. “Well, if you get ready for bed without moaning and whining tonight and if you brush your teeth properly, maybe he’ll be persuaded. After all, Anton is here, too, this time.”

 

Max and Sophie gasped and looked at each other, giddy with excitement.

“Shall we get ready now, Daddy? Or will you tell us when?,” Sophie blurted out, eagerly waiting for an answer.

“Now is too early, love. We still want to play a game now, didn’t we? I’ll tell you when it’s time.”

***

“Did you hear that?” Almost dropping her toothbrush out of surprise, Sophie listened once again, motioning towards her brother to be quiet for a moment.

And there it was again indeed - the bright tinkling of a bell coming from the living room downstairs.

“Quick, that’s Santa,” she whispered, wiped the remaining toothpaste off her mouth and tiptoed down the stairs, hoping to catch a glimpse of the old man with the white beard before he left again. When they arrived downstairs, though, it was only her parents, grandfather, and siblings waiting for them in the hallway.

“Did you hear the bell, too, Soph?,” Ben asked with a smile and the little girl nodded, her bright blue eyes wandering over to her parents.

“Why don’t you two go in first and have a look if Santa was here already,” Tom suggested and taking Max’s hand, Sophie pressed down the handle of the living room door.

And indeed, underneath the lit up Christmas tree lay a few presents. The young twins squealed with delight and raced towards the gifts, trying to read the labels. Max, who - with some help from his big brother - had gotten better at distinguishing his letters already, found one for Little Lemon first and then one for himself.

“What a lovely surprise,” Paula smiled in mock innocence and took a seat on the sofa while George played with a strand of her hair.

The others joined her and in no time the first presents were opened and wishes fulfilled until everyone had opened one, apart from Max and Sophie who had received two each already.

Tom eventually found the note lying by the fireplace.

“Look, Santa left you a note. It says

_Dear Sophie &Max,_

_I have heard how much you wanted to celebrate Christmas on the 24th, just like your Mummy did all those years ago back in Germany._   
_I have therefore left you a few presents already. The rest, I shall bring round tonight when you’re fast asleep and dreaming of Rudolph and his fellow reindeers._   
_I hope you like my surprise and I wish you a very_

_Merry Christmas!!_

_Yours,_   
_Santa Clause_

That’s nice, isn’t it?”

Both Max and Sophie nodded happily, clutching their new toys with tired eyes but gleaming smiles.

“Alright, off to bed now, though, or he might not bring the rest of the presents,” Paula winked and under loud cheers and many “Goodnights” the youngest Hiddleston children vanished upstairs again.

And as James once again cuddled his youngest grandchild, Tom pulled Paula aside for a moment, wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered with a tender smile, “Merry Christmas, Mrs Hiddleston.”

“And a very merry Christmas to you too, Mr Hiddleston,” she breathed in reply before her lips found his for a short but loving kiss.


End file.
